Today marks day 31 of my 90 day alcohol fast. So what better time than now to share with you all about my choice to abstain from drinking alcohol. Whether you struggle with alcohol, marijuana, or (insert person, place or thing) I hope this will give you some insight on what your next best step may be.
Why I decided to go on a 90 Day Alcohol Fast
So towards the end of September and Beginning of October I had a couple of incidents where I drank too much and got drunk. If you know anything about my past, or if you have seen my most recent post, you know that drinking has caused me a lot of trouble in the past.
The last incident, aka my turning point, was when I drank too much on my anniversary trip with my husband in Antigua. That day we spent our day out on excursions and I ended up drinking too much rum punch. I ended up drunk and angry with my husband for no reason! Just a switch had flipped. I hated that I got like that on our anniversary trip.
The next day my husband went on a deep sea fishing trip, and I took the day to myself to journal, read, lounge by the pool, and get a mani and pedi. While I was journaling that day I realized how OUT of alignment I felt. I felt like I was being a hypocrite. I thought to myself, How can someone claim to be a Christian and get drunk like that? It paints a very confusing picture for non believers and for new believers. Besides that, alcohol really has caused me a lot of problems.
Later that day when I got my nails done, I learned quickly that the nail tech was a devoted Christian. She shared her love for God and how her move from Jamaica to Antigua impacted her faith. She told me about her struggles moving away from her family to be able to send her daughter to college. But through the hardship her faith in God grew tremendously.
I was somewhat jealous of the fire for God that was clearly alive inside of her. I had felt that fire before and I missed it. I told her that something I struggled with was feeling like other Christians aren't "living right", so why should I? She responded with advice that totally shifted my mindset. She said, 'At the end of your life, when you stand before God, you will be the only person held accountable for what you did with the life you were given. Your faith and your salvation is between you and God. No one else. This stuck with me long after I came home from my trip.
When I got home, I knew I needed a season of sobriety. I noticed a pattern with my behavior. I would stop drinking, drink in moderation, and then have an incident where I would drink too much, feel convicted, and repeat the cycle over.
I wasn't ready to commit to not drinking for the rest of my life, but I decided to stop drinking alcohol for 90 days; Hoping that would lead to an even longer season of sobriety after seeing that my life would be better without alcohol. Just to clarify, drinking is not a sin but drunkenness is.
What I've Learned During the First 30 Days
1. You are NOT alone. In the beginning, I felt alone because no one else seemed to be doing the same thing or on the same path. But Then I was reminded through a podcast that God is on this path with me and I am never alone. Also, there are plenty of sobriety support groups on Facebook, and in person support groups. If you seek, you will find.
2. Let go of your expectations of others. Part of me expected my husband to not drink either. But thanks to an audio book I was listening to, I realized I need to let go of that expectation. Because I CHOSE THIS. This was my choice to quit drinking and it's between me and God. However, I did verbalize how he could make me feel supported without forcing my convictions onto him.
3. Growth is a GREAT thing! I am learning that self development and growth can get lonely at times, but growth is a good thing! When we grow, dead branches (like old habits or people) are pruned away so that new growth can happen. Habits, hang ups, and people that are no longer helping you only serve to hold you back. For you to grow into the person you were born to be, those dead branches have to be cut off.
Your Next Best Step
So now what? Now it is your turn to take a look at your life and decide if anything needs to change. Is there anything out of alignment with your values? Then, You need a very powerful reason to stick to your goal. I saw a pattern in my drinking that I did not like and that's why I decided to fast EVEN through the major holidays. Next, find a support group so that you can help each other through the process. Third, don't forget this was your choice to change. Finally, embrace the process of growing. You are in the process of becoming the person you were BORN to be. Growth is a GREAT thing!
Your Femfit Coach,